can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
