just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
