Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
