Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
