so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
