no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
