Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
All the doctor said was why
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
