U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Randomize
