you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
