so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
