Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I have demons in me.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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