my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
