I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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