It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Semen is not good for contacts.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
