Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
