I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
