literally had 100 drinks last night.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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