It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I believe in your delicious
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
