i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
