Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
