i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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