So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
