too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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