There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
