My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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