Got a toothbrush?
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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