My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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