dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
