i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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