I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
