what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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