Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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