I will die if light touches me.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
