do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
