Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
