This dress was meant to end up on your floor
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
