He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
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