if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
