you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
