Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
false alarm. still invincible.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Randomize
