My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I can't turn off my feet"
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
