I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
