She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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