'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
