I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
wanna go halves on a baby?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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