Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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