Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
