party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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