no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
