This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's blow job season.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Bring me that man meat
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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