How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
