tell your sister to shave her snatch
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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