She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
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